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I thought I would share with y’all something that I’ve been playing recently: a little action roguelike called Delver. The game first piqued my interest several months ago, when it was in very early alpha and didn’t yet have a website; I downloaded it then and was charmed by the Minecraft-esque visuals and simple, no-explanation-needed premise. It came to find again recently, so I decided to check out the progress. It’s been polished and expanded significantly from when I last played, and needless to say I’m very satisfied.

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You start off looking into a mysterious hallway, just begging you to go in. What could await you there?

A HOST OF FEARSOME AND POWERFUL ENEMIES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO:

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SHANK-FELLOW

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MAGIC ASSHOLE

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DIRE BAT, AND ASSOCIATE

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THE THING THAT I DIDN’T GO NEAR

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DIRE SMURF

The dungeon is randomly generated, and your objective is to head deeper and deeper into it, finding increasingly powerful weapons and gear, fighting off hordes of monsters, and avoiding traps. As for what’s at the bottom…

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I’ll leave that for you to find out. Not because I wanna tease, but because this is a game I don’t want to spoil for anyone. I’ve been playing the up-to-date version for the last few days, and while individual playthroughs don’t last all that long regardless of whether you win or lose, the randomly-generated aspect gives the game amazing replay value.

One more thing though: when you die, you die. As in, your save file is gone. It’s like Minecraft in hardcore mode.

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So, while I wouldn’t say the game in actively difficult (although I have yet to beat it completely), I would still recommend treading carefully. You don’t wanna die to something stupid, like a Magic Asshole.

You can buy the game here (it’s just $5) and vote for it on Steam Greenlight here.

Personally, I expect very good things from this game in the future.

If your childhood was anything like mine, you’re probably at least somewhat familiar with this motherfucker:

Exodia, the Forbidden One. Honestly, look at it. LOOK AT IT. You can probably imagine 12-year-old me just flipping out over this. In the show, that annoying prick Weevil threw it into the ocean when Yugi was on the way to Duelist Island.

Oh Jesus Christ, I can barely even look at this smug little asshole.

So it was basically my dream to own all of the Exodia cards. I was never really “hardcore” about the game, I never went out of my way to get them or spent much. Eventually, I somehow ended up with the head, a bunch of legs, and neither of the arms. I think I had 2 of the right leg, and 3 of the left one. So I would put together this thing:

And I would call it “Legsodia.” It was pretty much like Exodia, but its arms were legs and it did nothing. I feel like Legsodia is, in a way, representative of all of my endeavors throughout my life. Nearly everything I’ve ever tried has been one big Legsodia. 

So if you, my dear readers, have ever found yourself putting together the Legsodia, I just wanted to say that I’ve been there, and I feel you. Sometimes we don’t have all the resources we need; a little too much of one thing maybe, not enough of another. But we make do. We make do the best we can.